Musings and experiences about BDSM and other things decadent

For the last few weeks, I have returned to a side of my psyche that has been neglected of late: storytelling.

I have been working on a novel that I started while I was looking for a job after moving up from Seattle. I had gotten a third of the way through when I got a job at the place where I currently work, and I became heavily involved in the BDSM scene here in Vancouver. And all was well.

Sort of.

The problem was that I put aside that novel, the short stories and the poetry I like to write. I focused on writing documentation instead of fiction.

But in the last while, I realized that I was feeling empty. There was a gaping hole in my spirit.

I needed to go back to writing fiction. Not just to nurture my creative side, but to also improve my BDSM play.

One of the things I like to write is erotica. I joined the Romantic Bondage: Abducted, Ravished, & Kept group a while ago. And I have, from time to time, contributed poems and stories. A dribble here. A drab there.

But lately, i have been pour out stories to the group. I am currently submitting a series called Bad Student’s Punishment. It is about a young woman who is forced to be a sex slave by a perverted Dean. And people have been very kind with their comments.

But I am not writing the stories just to entertain and titillate–although I try to achieve that. I am writing these stories to allow my imagination the freedom I need to explore my place in BDSM. The things I write about in these stories make me think about how I play with others. They force me to look inside and reflect on what I am willing to do and what I am not.

And most importantly, writing my stories gives me a better understanding of who I want to play with and why.

Now, I have to say that I am not interested in raping someone using tentacle (you will have to read the story to figure this one out). Nor I am really interested in forcing someone to have sex with me, or whipping them against their will, or anything that is truly non-consensual. As I wrote to one person: I am a sadist, not a sociopath.

But I do want to explore boundaries with the people I play with. I want to make a connection with them and then go on a ride that pushes both of us. I want to build a relationship with everyone I play with that is more than casual. I want the experience to be memorable (in a good way). I want it to teach us both something about each other.

And most of all, I want the play I do with someone to rise about the mundane and strive to be transcendent. And I will not always be successful. But I at least want to try.

So I will continue to write my stories. And if you ever decide to read them, know that you are seeing my growth in the lifestyle in each phrase, and a glimpse into who i am.