Musings and experiences about BDSM and other things decadent

We all play a role.  We are a Dom or a sub.  We are a Master or a slave.  We are a Top or a bottom.  And no matter how much we believe in the those roles, we are simply poor players who strut and fret our hour upon the stage and are heard no more.

But some performances are definately more memorable than others.

Have you ever gone to a public play party and watched a scene that made your jaw drop?  Did you see a session where you could not take your eyes off what was happening?  Have you watch someone play and felt inspired?

We often think that play is about technique: how we use a flogger or where we position the ropes in a suspension.  And having good technique is very important.  You do need to know what you are doing.  But there are many, many competent people in the BDSM world.  Some are more experienced than others.  Some have a vast array of techniques they can use in their play.  But what distinguishes great players from there merely good ones is their sense of theatre.

I remember two amazing scenes that I was privileged to watch.  One was with John Ireland and his sub at a play party in Vancouver.  It was one of the most intense, erotic scenes I have ever viewed.  The people I was with and I were mesmerized.  It was a performance between a Dom and his sub.  Each reacted to the actions of the other.  John would single-tail her.  She would strike back at him for a particularly nasty strike.  He would wrestle her down and use a blanket to flog her.  She would resist and succumb.  It was like watching two great actors in a duelling scene.  You held your breath waiting to see what move each would use against the other.

The other scene was at a rope bondage workshop put on by Midori.  She did a mini-scene with a female sub where she eventually had the girl hogtied on the floor.  It was a sensuous, dream-like play.  Midori’s movements were varied: sometimes slow, sometimes quick, but always deliberate.  It was like watch a dance in which the sub was guided and controlled by the Domme.  And while Midori’s rope sessions did not have the fire and and grand gestures of John’s impact play, her rope play was no less mesmerizing, no less inspiring, that Ireland’s.

What made these two sessions so incredible were their theatricality.  Both John and Midori are consummate performers.  Both have a real sense of drama and drawing out an audience when they play.  John’s play reminded me of grand opera.  It is big and bold full of broad strokes and fire.  Midori’s play was like a ballet–a pas de deux–that demanded we watch each movement and every tug of the rope.  Both kept all who watched glued to what was happening.

But when I talk about theatricality in BDSM play, I do not limit it to playing in public.  Even when playing in private, you need to have a sense of the theatrical to bring more to your play and engage your partner.

When tying your sub, play with the rope.  Slide across their nipples as you press it against them.  Use your floggers to move your sub around, pull them to their knees and let them breath in your toys’ smell as you caress your subs’ faces with them.  Add little touches of flare as you flog them.  You may not think that they can see you, but you will be surprised at what they can pick up.

When you are topping someone, you are engaging your bottom.  You are taking over their mind with everything you do.  You are focussing their thoughts on you and you alone.  You are their pain.  You are their pleasure.  You make them cry in agony and weep with joy.

But to do all that, you need to put on a good show for them.  You need to think theatrically.