The Tyranny of Technique
Last weekend, I attended the “Weekend with Midori” event held by Sagacity. It was a fantastic experience. if you ever get the chance to take one of her workshops, I highly, highly recommend you go. They are insightful and entertaining. And Midori is a really nice person as well.
Two of the workshops she presented at Sagacity were on rope bondage and flogging. And for me, they were revelations. I have gone to many workshops on these subjects–some good; some bad. And I learned a lot from them. But Midori while dealt with technique and safety issues, the real eye-opener for me was the way that she used rope and floggers as communications mediums.
In the rope bondage workshop, Midori did a demonstration with a young woman that was jaw-dropping. She used the rope not just to bind her. She used it to “talk’ to her. Midori ran the rope across the sub’s body to heighten her arousal. She used to order her into different positions. She used it to seduce her. And each tie she made was a statement od dominance, of desire and of sensuality.
The flogger workshop was truly sublime. Her demonstration there was a lesson on using the flogger as a seducer. She used her flogger on the male sub as a sensual statement. She ran it over his head and body. She use it to move him from place to place. And when she finally decided to use it for impact, she was not simply manipulating her strikes to manipulate the sub’s sense; she used the flogger to caress, to comfort and to arouse. It was sublime.
In both cases, I realized that I was watching an art piece being created.
And I realized that, far too often, I fall into the tyranny of technique.
It is a common problem for Doms. When we play with a sub, we concentrate on using our skills with toys to get the sub into subspace. We concentrate on using to toy we are using the “right way.” And we can–if we are studious, skillful and mindful–able to bring the sub into subspace this way.
But we do so as technicians. We allow our focus on technique to take over our play. A friend of mine who is a very accomplished in rope and suspensions. He once said to me that he feels that he is seen more by his rope than as himself. And I have heard this from people who use single tails as well. We become extensions of our tools. Indeed, we begin to become identified by our toys rather than by who we are.
But sometimes, it is because we get caught up with our technique rather than with our play. It is like the dancer who is technically sound, but lacks the artistry to elevate the dance beyond the form itself. I have seen a tango that is well done, but it doesn’t inspire me. But once in a while, I see one that arouses passion and desire and hormones and so many other sensations that I forget that it is just a dance. It is great art.
And that is what I want my play to become: art. Maybe my play will inspire those who watch. That would be nice. But my goal is to make my play a great experience for the person I am playing with. I want it to transcend the technique. I want it to be more than a good flogging, a good suspension, or a good caning.
I want it to be great play. Play for the sub. Play for me.
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